school

Physical Exasperation

Physical Education report

I guessing my games teacher based his remarks on my school report that year on the one cricket ball I ever bowled at him.

Football was very much the dominating sport at my school. Sure we had tennis courts and running tracks and the occasional student teacher who wanted to convert everyone to rugby, but basically if you didn’t like football you were were an outcast. I didn’t like football.

I loved cricket though, but because it was a summer game we didn’t get to play it much, so I joined the local county club and trained on a Friday evening.

At school they held trials for the cricket team. I bowled the teacher out first ball with a stunning full toss. I didn’t make the team. Instead he picked the entire footballer team to play.

Just one f***ing thing after another*

History report

Finally, this has to be my best school report comment ever. I’m proud to say that little has changed over the years.

Stay whatever and stay safe.

*The History Boys, Allan Bennett

Old school

School reports

Now this should be interesting. An envelope full of my old school reports. I wonder what my English teachers had to say.

1973

“A strong dramatic sense”, I wonder if that means I was always over reacting when they set homework. I hated homework.

“I feel he could further improve the quality of his written work with care”. I admit I did have terrible handwriting, or did they mean the actual words I was trying to use. Both?

Things will be better next year Sir!

1974

There’s the drama again. I remember we used to do little comedy sketches with props that the teacher had brought in. Daft things like Action Man clothes and we’d do a fake TV advert for washing powder that went wrong and shrunk everything. Who would have know at the time that years later I’d be writing radio commercials for skip hire companies and carpet warehouses.

In the school play I took on the role of the guinea pig in Alice In Wonderland. I know exactly what you are thinking, there isn’t a guinea pig in Alice In Wonderland. Remember, it was school play so they had to make up parts so that everyone who wanted to be in it could. I think I managed to make it my own, but I was upstaged by the stick insect and the dung beetle.

Tomorrow I will have a look at what my Physical Education teachers had to say about me. That should be a laugh.

Stay well educated and stay safe.

Pin drops

I’ve told this story a hundred times and I will tell it a hundred more as I believe it marks the very moment a spark ignited in me a passion for audio.

It was a music class in my junior school. Some lessons we’d spend time practising an instrument. Mine was the recorder and I was proud that I could play Greensleeves without looking at my fingers. (more…)