memories

Physical Exasperation

Physical Education report

I guessing my games teacher based his remarks on my school report that year on the one cricket ball I ever bowled at him.

Football was very much the dominating sport at my school. Sure we had tennis courts and running tracks and the occasional student teacher who wanted to convert everyone to rugby, but basically if you didn’t like football you were were an outcast. I didn’t like football.

I loved cricket though, but because it was a summer game we didn’t get to play it much, so I joined the local county club and trained on a Friday evening.

At school they held trials for the cricket team. I bowled the teacher out first ball with a stunning full toss. I didn’t make the team. Instead he picked the entire footballer team to play.

Just one f***ing thing after another*

History report

Finally, this has to be my best school report comment ever. I’m proud to say that little has changed over the years.

Stay whatever and stay safe.

*The History Boys, Allan Bennett

Old school

School reports

Now this should be interesting. An envelope full of my old school reports. I wonder what my English teachers had to say.

1973

“A strong dramatic sense”, I wonder if that means I was always over reacting when they set homework. I hated homework.

“I feel he could further improve the quality of his written work with care”. I admit I did have terrible handwriting, or did they mean the actual words I was trying to use. Both?

Things will be better next year Sir!

1974

There’s the drama again. I remember we used to do little comedy sketches with props that the teacher had brought in. Daft things like Action Man clothes and we’d do a fake TV advert for washing powder that went wrong and shrunk everything. Who would have know at the time that years later I’d be writing radio commercials for skip hire companies and carpet warehouses.

In the school play I took on the role of the guinea pig in Alice In Wonderland. I know exactly what you are thinking, there isn’t a guinea pig in Alice In Wonderland. Remember, it was school play so they had to make up parts so that everyone who wanted to be in it could. I think I managed to make it my own, but I was upstaged by the stick insect and the dung beetle.

Tomorrow I will have a look at what my Physical Education teachers had to say about me. That should be a laugh.

Stay well educated and stay safe.

Day 11 (3) – Childhood smells

Jeys Fluid

Jeys Fluid (other outdoor cleaners available)

I have just realised that ambiguity of today’s title. Do I mean that childhood actually smells or do I mean smells from my childhood? Today it’s the latter. (Although some elements of childhood did smell. For another day perhaps.)

I have a couple of days leave from work. I thought I’d spend it at home (joke). So I have been in the garden for a good part of the day.

The first task was to clean and disinfect the greenhouse. I remember as a child helping my father do this. He always used Jeys Fluid for outside jobs such as the greenhouse and the drains – although I can’t remember if mother was in charge of the drains or not. I remember them being cleaned and then dad would sprinkle some white powder round them. I presumed it was ant powder, but now I think about it ants don’t live in drains. Surly it wasn’t rat poison?

Jeys Fluid is one of those magical potions that would sit on the top shelf of the garage alongside the Swarfega, 3-in-1 oil and a can of WD40. Each had their own distinctive smell and while the smell of the WD40 and Jeys Fluid were occasional treats, dad could find any excuse to wash his hands in Swarfega.

Garden border

Another border cleared

So today all those memories flooded back as I mix up a dose of Jeys Fluid and got to work on the greenhouse.

It’s been a joy to be out there. A total distraction from the troubles of the world. Having said that, from time to time I did find myself consumed by a wave of reality, usually brought on by a distant neighbour coughing or sneezing.

I’ve made some good progress with the borders with more to do tomorrow. I also need to plan where everything is going, so I’m keeping my eye on where the sun gets to through the day.

Sobering statistics

Looking at the news now and it’s all about numbers. Deaths, confirmed cases, monetary support and stock markets. It’s all a bit grim.

Please stay safe.