The sun seemed to be particularly bright this morning as I opened my eyes. It took a while for them to focus, but I knew almost straight away that something wasn’t as it should be.
Just a brief glance at my pyjamas and I realised that these were not my pyjamas. This wasn’t even my room. And what on earth were those two huge balls hanging on the wall?
I found a wardrobe in the corner of the room and not knowing what sort of day this would be, I looked for something sensible to wear.
The selection of clothing was eclectic to say the least, but I managed to find something close to what I would wear usually.
Outside the beautiful blue skies of Norfolk had been replaced by heavy rain and I though it best to try and find someone to talk too who might be able to explain where I was and what was going on.
The first ‘person’ I bumped into was a sloth selling plants.
I’m not sure what disturbed me more, the expression on his face, his interest in weeds or the fact that he could talk.
I got little sense out of him, not helped by the fact that my conversation was limited to just a few simple phrases.
I did find the local shop near by which seemed to be ignoring any social distancing rules. Instead two small racoons in uniform constantly pestered me to buy things or inquire of turnip prices. Turnip prices?
The experience seemed very odd, yet it all seemed very plausible, a bit like a dream. I tried to pinch myself but all that happened was I ended up with a shovel or fishing rod in my hand.
Actually the fishing rod turned out to be very useful as I spent an hour or so fishing on the beach with a purple kangaroo and her kid.
I made friends with a frog called Jeremiah, crafted a table with a goat (at least I think it was goat) and discussed the benefits of keeping fit with a lion.
Over at the museum I got talking to an owl called Blathers. I was just as impressed by his knowledge of fossils, bugs and fish as I was with his ability, like the other animals, to talk.
It started to feel like Paradise. A place I’d never want to leave.
But then it went a bit Wicker Man and I found myself in the middle of stone circle in my underwear.
Expecting to hear some ancient chanting, I managed to quickly get back to the house where I tucked myself up in bed and hoped that there really is no place like home and that tomorrow I will wake up and see my young pea shoots in the garden, rather than an anteater wearing a yellow raincoat.
Stay in the real world and stay safe.