Spiders have played a big part in my life. Well the last 24 hours of it at least. It began while I was in the bathroom last night carrying out my ablutions.
A huge spider suddenly ran towards me. I had nowhere to go. I was cornered. So I did what any reasonable person would do in these circumstances. I lifted my feet up off the floor and panicked.
He stopped dead in his tracks looking at me. It must have been an hilarious sight because I’m sure I heard a snigger. Then he ran off towards the shower. Probably to tell all his mates about this flailing human he’d just seen on the toilet.
This morning the spider theme continued when I discovered two bunches of spiders on the tulips. A mass of tiny arachnids covering themselves in gossamer threads. Creepily fascinating.
It put me in mind of the spider that lived in a bush outside my window. Orange body, green legs. I watched her build her web all summer. Then one day there was a big egg. The egg hatched. And hundreds of baby spiders came out. And they ate her.
But then my wife pointed out that that wasn’t my memory at all but Rachel’s from Blade Runner (1982), which got me wanting to watch the film and wondering if I was replicant. How would I know? The Turing Test? Now I want to watch Ex Machina.
I did have a look through my photographs for past photographs of spiders I’ve encountered. So I’ve done a little gallery.
I have no idea of the names of any of these spiders, although I think the third one was called Barry.
Now I want to watch a Spiderman movie.
Stay away from spiders and stay safe.